Something that I’ve learnt over the past week is that it’s ok. Its ok to not be ok. It’s ok to open up to people and let the mask that I have so carefully and perfectly crafted down so people can see the real, flawed and unfiltered me. Yes it’s been terrifying but I can’t believe the support I’ve received. To be honest I’m not sure what I was expecting, I guess I just never thought I’d be in a position like this but I am beyond grateful and amazed at the kindness of those around me.
At some point I created this idea that I had to be perfect and I built these walls around my soul so that no one could see that I wasn’t. I tried so desperately hard to keep up this charade but all it’s done is made me feel isolated and like a fake. Yes it may have protected me from heartbreak but it also prevented me from having truly authentic connections with those around me.
It’s been these past couple of days that have made me realise that by opening up it allows me to have deeper and more real connections with my friends and those around me.
I know I still have a long way to go but these cracks in my mask make me realise that my imperfections and honesty aren’t going to scare people away, it’s going to bring my real friends closer and it means that I’m one step closer to being authentically me.
The Adventures of Madelaine 