Ironically I started writing this and my computer froze. Me being me considered taking this as a sign from the universe that I shouldn’t write it but then I decided “what the heck”, maybe there’s someone that needs to hear this too so here goes. 

Sometimes I worry that people aren’t going to like me if I gain weight. That somehow because I’m wearing a different jean size it’s going to make me inherently unlovable. Somehow it will completely change the fact that they (hopefully) like me for things like my personality, kind heart, maybe even my loud laugh and not because of the size of my clothes or the shape of my body. If that is why you like me then it’s been fun but see you later!👋🏻

I think this is something I’ve always subconsciously thought about. I’ve always (without even realising) prided myself on my size and when it changed, I panicked. I need to address the fact that it changed because that’s where my body was comfortable and happy and for the first time ever I’d given it permission to figure that out. Yes it, at times, freaked me the fuck out but that’s another story.

I guess the point that I’m trying to make for myself, and anyone reading this is that people don’t (and shouldn’t) like you for what you look like. They don’t care what size clothes you wear, how much you weigh, what colour your hair is, even how you like your coffee, the list could honestly go on! And just a reminder that if they do care and/or feel the need to point it out then not only are they a complete douche bag of a human being but they don’t deserve to have someone as amazing, kind hearted, and kick ass as you in their lives. 

I really hope that you stop letting the number on your clothes, and the way your body looks define you because you deserve all of the health  happiness in the world and (I’ve totally stolen this from somewhere but I have no idea where) you don’t see the way your face lights up when you talk about the people and things that you love, or the twinkle in your eyes when you have an idea. 

You are an absolute bad ass of a human being and you can’t see how incredible you are and I promise you that people love you for who you are and not how you look. ❤️

Something that I’ve learnt over the past week is that it’s ok. Its ok to not be ok. It’s ok to open up to people and let the mask that I have so carefully and perfectly crafted down so people can see the real, flawed and unfiltered me. Yes it’s been terrifying but I can’t believe the support I’ve received. To be honest I’m not sure what I was expecting, I guess I just never thought I’d be in a position like this but I am beyond grateful and amazed at the kindness of those around me.

At some point I created this idea that I had to be perfect and I built these walls around my soul so that no one could see that I wasn’t. I tried so desperately hard to keep up this charade but all it’s done is made me feel isolated and like a fake. Yes it may have protected me from heartbreak but it also prevented me from having truly authentic connections with those around me.

It’s been these past couple of days that have made me realise that by opening up it allows me to have deeper and more real connections with my friends and those around me.

I know I still have a long way to go but these cracks in my mask make me realise that my imperfections and honesty aren’t going to scare people away, it’s going to bring my real friends closer and it means that I’m one step closer to being authentically me.

It seems life as we know it has been completely turned upside down. With all of these changes in the world it can be hard navigating this new normal especially since we have no idea how long it’s going to last.

I felt it for the first time the other day when I went to the shop. Food that was normally so easily accessible was nowhere to be seen and I found myself staring at the freezer almost willing the frozen chips to appear. I thought that I was going to be ok and naively I didn’t think the shortage of food was going to impact me. But it did. It wasn’t until that moment that I realised all of the posts and articles I’d been seeing about navigating this crisis and recovery applied to me. Again somewhat naively I thought I would be fine, but I wasn’t and that’s ok.

If you’re struggling reach out to someone, anyone because you don’t need to go through it alone.

The Butterfly Foundation ‭1800 334 673‬

I’ve always been a big fan of celebrating the little wins in life but in no way is this a small achievement.

Celebrating 600 days in recovery is something I never imagined I would reach. No matter how hard I tried I could never make it more than six months so to get to a year and half is no small feat.

That doesn’t mean that there haven’t been so (SO!) many times I just wanted to give in and go back to my usual coping strategies, but ultimately that just leaves me hungry and with a million empty promises. That’s what it does; it promises the world but, while making you a shell of a human, brings nothing but pain and destruction.

It would not have been possible to get to this point without the incredible support from my recovery team. I am beyond blessed to have the best of the best and I count my lucky stars for them every single day.

To anyone struggling I promise you that you are worthy of recovery and it is so worth it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to enjoy my cake…

Imagine is a word I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Imagine a life filled with inner peace and calm, imagine being so content in yourself that you didn’t let other people’s opinions even cross your mind. I have been trying to practice all of these things over the past month and let me tell you; it can be really hard!

As I spoke about in my last post sitting in the discomfort of these thoughts and feelings can be incredibly difficult but it’s where growth happens. I don’t know about you but I want to grow as a person.

I think it’s also important to stop and reflect on how far you’ve come. No matter what your journey take a moment to stop and see how much you’ve grown. Honestly this is something I did for the first time today; I used to imagine what it would be like to believe in and back myself. I used to be so scared of everything in life and it wasn’t until today that I realised how far I’ve come.

It may seem hard but imagine living the life that YOU dream of… Now close your eyes, take a deep breath and lean in, you’ve got this!

I’ve always been a perfectionist. I’m the kind of person that if I’m not good at something, I’ll stop.

Doing something because I want to even when I suck at it is so hard, I hate it! But sitting in the discomfort is necessary if I want to grow. That’s something that I’m trying to remind myself tonight. I may not be perfect (which is absolutely ok!) but I’m growing and having fun and that’s all that matters.

Let’s lean into the discomfort.

Earlier today I attended a women’s conference where, for a laugh, we were shown a video where a cake was left in front of children and they were told they weren’t allowed to eat it. This helps to teach them self control and to be more aware of themselves.

I’m not going to lie, at first their reactions were funny but after a while I started to realise just how crazy this is. These kids would have been no older than 5 (and coincidentally all girls) and they were told to practise self control. To see who gave in and ate cake, or who didn’t. As though eating cake is a “bad” thing. Why is cake deemed “bad”? And why are we teaching young kids that?

It scares me to think about how society warps perspective. Do eat this because it’s “good”, don’t eat that because it’s “bad”. What is that doing to young impressionable children and the way they view themselves and food? It’s so ingrained in our minds that no one ever argues with it, or considers changing it.

Let’s give society’s views the middle finger. If you want cake, just eat the damn cake, it’s not going to kill you.

I’ve spent so much time trying to fit in and be what I thought I was “supposed” to be. To dress a certain way, and to change myself in order to fit this box that society deems acceptable and appropriate. But I’m done. I’ve spent too much time hiding myself and trying to change who I am instead of just accepting it.

A lot of the time I feel like a child in an adult’s body; I LOVE the colour pink and am slightly obsessed with jewellery and shiny things (I’m basically magpie). But I’m starting to realise that it’s ok, it’s part of what makes me me!

I encourage you to embrace yourself and your quirks too, they are what make you you, and that’s pretty amazing! 💕

At first this blog was simply an opportunity to put pen to paper (or finger to iPhone) and write about anything and everything, I didn’t want to limit myself. I’ve since realised that I want it to serve a bigger purpose. While there is a very real possibility that it won’t happen or I’ll just get bored and move on, I believe that I can use this platform as an opportunity to make a change.

With that said I am pleased to announce that the focus of The Adventures is to help promote body acceptance and self love in a world where photoshop is everywhere and we are constantly being told why we shouldn’t love our bodies. It’s time to change. I hope you’ll be apart of this journey. 💕